Tuesday, 29 April 2008

3 Things I Can't Explain To My Mum

I have been tagged by Moments from Suburbia to name 3 Things I Can't Explain To My Mum. Well obviously there are hundreds of things I can't say to my mum but I take this to mean things I just can't get across. So here goes!

1) I can't explain to my mum that her blog is not on her computer!

2) I can't explain to my mum that she has not been 'blocked out' when a page won't load.

3) I can't explain to my mum in times of duress that she should follow the wonderful advice she gave me all those years ago and repeat the mantra over and over again 'I am a fighter and I won't give in'. There again in times of duress I can't explain anything!

Now I have decided, rightly or wrongly not to tag anyone with this for 2 reasons - firstly because I'm quite new to this and secondly, in Maggie May's post My Mother while reading the comments I discovered that the bloggers that I had planned to tag had recently lost their mothers so it didn't seem appropriate.

So, an open tag for anyone who feels like - name 3 Things You Can't Explain To Your Mum

Monday, 21 April 2008

Food for thought

I lived in Japan for a long time and people often ask me if I've ever eaten raw fish, which is a bit like asking someone living in England if they had ever drunk beer! As it happens I love sushi (and beer!) but have eaten far stranger things, the strangest perhaps being raw liver! I was taken to a Japanese bar by an elderly man soon after arriving and I spoke little if no Japanese. When ordering food the only part of his question I understood was 'do you like....' so naturally I answered in the affirmative. When a plate of wobbly red liver arrived it took a while before I realised that nobody was going to come and cook it for us and as the plates and chopsticks were handed out I was fighting the urge to run blindly out the door straight to the nearest airport! But I was affected by good old male pride and decided I had no choice but to not only eat the liver but smile and enjoy it! As the blood dripping chopsticks neared my mouth I feared I would projectile vomit at any moment but once in my mouth I was amazed to find that it tasted good and melted like butter - a bit like good quality raw tuna if any of you have tried that.

So what's the strangest thing you have ever eaten?

Sunday, 13 April 2008


A few weeks ago I officially became a stay-at-home-dad when Kaiko got a full time job. Champagne flowed freely on the day my dream was realised! I know many men who go to work primarily to get away from their wife and kids but not me, I love this life! Up at six every morning, make lunch boxes and breakfast followed by the school run, playgroup for Millie on the odd day, picnic in the park if it's warm enough, another school run, make dinner, go to gym - ahh, this is the life!

But I have come to realise that people who make the decision to look after their own children, which generally means giving up a job, belong to a minority group who instead of being congratulated, receive no support from the government and are in fact, persecuted for doing the right thing!

After having a chronic cough for some 20 years I was diagnosed with having a type of asthma - one day into the medication and it was like having a new set of lungs! Only trouble is, now I'm a stay-at-home-dad with no money coming in all these sprays and inhalers are a bit expensive. Having never claimed any sort of social security I know nothing of the system but thought that as a full time carer I would probably qualify for free prescriptions. After several days of looking for a number to call I was told I would have to call Jobseekers. So I did, and it went something like this.

Me: I'm calling to check if I am entitled to free prescriptions.
Bored Voice: Are you claiming Job Seekers Allowance?
Me: No, what's that?
Irritated Voice: Are you looking for a job?
Me: No, my wife works and I look after the kids.
Jumped up Prick: Well why don't you get a childminder and work like everyone else?
Me: Because all the childminders are full and the private nursery costs £800 a month. Besides I don't want job seekers allowance, just free asthma medicine. And even more besides I don't want a childminder - I want to look after my own kids.
Bored Jobsworth: Sorry I can't help unless you are looking for a job.
Me: I hope this call is being recorded for training purposes.

I was a bit stunned by this! Would he have talked to me like that if I was a housewife rather than husband? I grew up (and worked!) in an age when it seemed half of England was on the dole and living on handouts but the first time I could use a bit of help its implied that I'm a lazy bastard who doesn't want to work! Luckily since then I have discovered Family Tax Credits and although I am still not eligible for free prescriptions we will at least get some tax back every month, so the inhalers stay.

Despite the opposition I remain undeterred and a very happy Stay-at-home-Dad!

Friday, 4 April 2008

Meet the Mays

Well since I seem to have an audience I should introduce our motley crew!
There's my wife Kaiko, my two pirate daughters Amber & Millie, my dad Harry and of course my mum, troublemaker extraordinaire and compulsive blogger Maggie May. For half a year or so we have all been living together in relative harmony disturbed only by the grouchy mutterings of my dad and the swarm of rats living in our kitchen ceiling. On my dad's part most of his mutterings are due to my mum's blog addiction which is probably all my fault but I do at least have a solution to the rat problem - we're getting 2 pet rats. Not really a solution but the idea is we will all grow to like rats and will no longer care about the squatters in the ceiling! Will it work or is it just another one of my mighty ideas? I'm not sure if we'll ever find out though as my dad has refused to allow rats in the house - of course my mum's reply of "I wasn't asking for your permission" lead to some heated discussions! Her idea of a fair solution was to ask her grandchildren (all four of them) to vote on whether or not to buy pet rats - so far it is 3-1 in favour!

Since she became a blogger my mum has undergone quite a personality change - she has become extremely assertive! From where I'm standing it is a very positive change and I feel quite proud of her! I don't think my dad shares the enthusiasm too much though, especially since he has to do a lot of his own cooking now! Gone are the days when 'dinner's in the fridge' meant there was a prepared meal on a plate - it now means 'ingredients for dinner are evenly distributed in the fridge, freezer and cupboard'. I think he blames me for his predicament and I'm sure he is looking forward to my clan moving out so his life can return to "normal". The damage is done though - it's going to take a lot more than a grumpy husband to stop Maggie May!

Wednesday, 2 April 2008

It's all Maggie May's fault!

Hello, my name is Sam May - a few months ago my mum finally took my advice and started a blog (Nuts in May) - well since then I've been a 24/7 blog support technician so I figured what the hell I'll start one myself!
I don't know if I'll write anything, or even think of anything to write but since there are so many wrongs to right I shall at least have a good moan about the things that piss me off the most!